Jacob Cohen Quotes on Absurdity

5 quotes

  1. I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample, there was an olive in it.

  2. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

  3. I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.

  4. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

    #37 Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.
  5. One day I was driving home and saw a guy jogging naked. I asked why, he said, ''Cause you came home early!'

All Jacob Cohen quotes