spike milligan Quotes

Spike Milligan Quotes

Birth Date: 1918-04-16 (Tuesday, April 16th, 1918)
Date of Death: 2002-02-27 (Wednesday, February 27th, 2002)

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Quotes

    • For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
    • If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
    • Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    • Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
    • Are you going to come along quietly, or am I going to have to use ear plugs?
    • I told you I was ill!
    • A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
    • Education isn't everything; for a start it isn't an elephant.
    • I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
    • I can't see the sense in it [his honorary CBE] really. It makes me a Commander of the British Empire. They might as well make me a Commander of Milton Keynes - at least that exists.
    • How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
    • My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
    • The only nice thing I can wish him is an early death
    • World peace could be a possibility...if it weren't for all those damned foreigners!
    • The boy stood on the burning deck, whence all but he had fled. Twit.
    • I'm fucking Irish!
    • Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
    • When I look back, the fondest memory I have is not really of the Goons. It is of a girl called Julia with enormous breasts.
    • Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
    • Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
    • Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.
    • All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
    • I hope you go before me because I don't want you singing at my funeral.
    • Oh, the snivelling grovelling bastard.
    • I suppose a Knighthood is out of the question then?
    • I can't see the sense in it really. It makes me a Commander of the British Empire. They might as well make me a Commander of Milton Keynes - at least that exists.
    • Said Prince Charles when they placed the crown on his head: I suppose this means that Mummy's dead.
    • We're Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Ratties!
    • There's no such thing as anything, and sometimes even less!
    • The small of my back is too big
    • My ribs give me claustrophobia
    • I dont like jam, I dont want it to know where I am
    • spike milligan

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Spike Milligan
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