Groucho Marx Quotes on Satire
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[regarding Mrs. Teasdale's late husband] Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
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I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.
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An apprentice mortician? What, do you only bury live people?
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In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.