Steven Wright Quotes on Neighbors
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
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I've been getting into astronomy, so I installed a skylight. The people that live above me are furious.
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My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head. I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. My neighbors called the police. They thought there was lightning in my house.