Steven Wright Quotes on Relationships
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I woke up one day and everything in the apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I said to my roommate 'Can you believe this? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.' He said, 'Do I know you?'
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.