Steven Wright Quotes on Law

6 quotes

  1. I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

  2. I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.

  3. I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.

  4. I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity. I said, 'Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?'

  5. I'm going to court next week. I've been selected for jury duty. It's kind of an insane case -- 6000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant. I don't think they did it.

  6. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, 'Didn't you see the stop sign?' I said, 'Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.'

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